(The reason I dropped off livejournal for so long... in the shortest, most diplomatic way I can put it. I wrote this back in June, while everything was still fresh and happening but I never posted it):

This year has been a crazy year for me and its only June but I finally feel like I am seeing the road ahead clearly now. A few weeks ago (and up until only a few days ago) I was waking up frustrated and angry but now I am waking up with a smile. I feel like I'm in control of my situation again.

Looking back at the first half of the year and even most of the year before... I realize that I was allowing myself to be guided by people who are so lost themselves that they're certainly not fit to steer my life or, even, be in it. I felt drowned in drama that other people were creating and it was making me sick. I will never understand those girls who enjoy drama? That is such an unhealthy game and not to mention childish. Anyway I was doing things I didn't want to do for the sake of a friendship because I've always been one of those friends who put their all into a relationship (not in an unhealthy sense, in a supportive one) but I soon realized it wasn't being appreciated. That I was being taken for granted, lied about and used.

I'm sure some of you feel me, I think we've all been there at one time or another - unfortunately!

It took someone, who I considered a dear friend, to unleash a very ugly side of themselves to make me step back and realize how clouded my judgement has been. I distanced myself and eventually pulled myself away from the person altogether. I lost a friend, yes, but I gained a really amazing friend too. I got myself back after months of jumping through hoops. I'm thankful to have had that wake up call. I've never been the type who follows in someone elses shadow or who lets someone make up my mind for me... it's just not who I am! It never should be and it never will be again.
I think we're all better than to be treated like that, don't you? :)
I'm thankful to put it in the past and move forward... no hard feelings, life is too short.

That's the best I can explain.
xx A

Livejournal <3

I did not abandon you.
I have been in a whirlwind this year... and kept thinking to myself "there's always tomorrow, I'll write a blog then."

That was Easter,
it's almost Halloween.
Oh, bollocks!
:-S

But I'm back now...
did you miss me?

I missed you.
xx A

I just made my account yesterday so its a bit nude... but, go add it anyway :)